Joe's way cool home page

Something even more pithy goes here

Guzzardo Home   Eclipse August 21, 2017    Strive   

Patriots    The Pepsi Challenge   Super Bowl LII    Yuli Gurriel

Where's the outrage?    The love of my life   The price of freedom    Wayne Lapierre

Who Matters?   Satchmo    Miles

Jerry Mander for Congress

I support the women's movement, but it don't mean Jill Feculence*

Arming bears is not enough. All NRA members must get teaching certificates.

Introducing the NRA's first annual Guns for Tots charity drive.

Defecato ergo sum. (With AI, I don't need to think no mo'.)

Would you rather be a small man with big ideas, or a big man with no ideas? I'd rather be a big man with big ideas. I'm a short guy. You can't win them all.

I do take umbrage about many things. But as a considerate person, I put it back when I'm done.

I'm outside my comfort zone so often these days that when I'm in my comfort zone, I feel uncomfortable.

I gotta million of 'em. Some of 'em are actually funny. Unfortunately, most of them will get me in trouble with HR.

This life is a test. Had you lived a less meaningful life, the test would've been easier.

TuchasBook

Masochists have more fun.

Underneath my gruff, crusty exterior, there's an even gruffier, crustier interior.

For those of us who possess free will, life is a consequence of the decisions we've made. For those of us who possess free wifi, life is good.

I started taking Viagra a few months ago. It's been a tremendous boon to my doggle.

What I lack in skill, I make up for with lethargy.

Resume

My mood swings are so extreme and unpredictable that my emotional support dog needs an emotional support dog.

To anti-vaxxers I say, go get your own planet, because you're not entitled to live on this one. And if you're lucky enough to find one that's flat, more power to you.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. The way to a woman's heart is through her ears. It's unfortunate that it's taken me so many years to become a good bullshitter, but my wife is a great cook, no BS there.

I've been a bottom feeder most of my life. I'm not ashamed of it. Never forget, scum always rises to the top.

Joe's Embryos and Torsos Warehouse.

Your one stop source for all your body part* needs, both generic and built to spec. Check our extensive catalog for pricing and options. (* Sorry, we no longer carry low margin limbs and appendages. We suggest you visit Alibaba for that. Chinese prisons have plenty of stock on hand for those customers.)

* Jill Feculence is the much more refined and sophisticated relative of her better known cousin.