The Jeff Sessions Day Care Centers

Yes, I've decided to read the writing on the wall and resign my position as America's top cop.

I've launched my own day care center franchise, starting with locations in the southwestern United States. Now we're not talking about any ordinary day care center here. No, we're talking about 24/7, full service support centers for infants from birth up to children of age 14, or older. We also have licensed and fully documented(*), multi-lingual support members on staff to care for those children who are not familiar with English.

For every new infant enrolled, we are offering this adorable body suit (set of 3) free of charge. This offer is limited to the first 25 new infant enrollees, so act now to get yours before this valuable offer expires.

We also have a limited number of master franchises available, but you must act quickly while this lucrative opportunity is still available for qualified investors looking to lock in the most desirable territories.

* Actually, we're not too sure about some of those people we hired, but we got 'em pretty cheap.